Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Holidays, Friends, Relatives, People!
We were 8 of us at Dandeli and we had a wonderful time- nature walk, safari, white water rafting and of course being together with like minded people and making new friends in the process.
At this stage in life, you really feel the need for friends. At least I do - Ive always been a
"people-person"! Wondering what that means? Well, I just coined the word- what I mean is, Im happiest when among people- I have other interests-I read, cook,sew,embroider,listen to music, watch some TV- but these bring a feeling of lonliness, I guess I hate being with myself or I get bored with myself.
So I love people, people whom i can relate with!
And my other love is being amidst nature- the hills, rivers, mountains,oceans, jungles et al. And of course seeing new places-this in some ways fulfils an intellectual void- u read and hear about so many places- but the real thing is being there first hand!
Dandeli did both!
When you were young (and so were we), we depended on the AI passes. Hence we had to take our vacations during the exam time (off season) when there were less hassles for getting seats.
So most of the times you both stayed behind, but we had no choice. I always feared what would happen if the flight went wrong and both of us went up in smoke or something! That fear led me to make you both independent in everything, your studies, looking after yourselves, etc.
That had its own spin-off!
Of course we had some good holidays together- I remember Matheran, Mahableshwar, Panchgini, Bangkok and the numerous trips to chiplun and songaon!
You may also remember the drives we took in Bana mama's ambassador- 8-10 of us in the car driving to Goa, Kolhapur, Belgaum. His was the only car in the family and he and mami were most happy to be with us! Those days he was a regular visitor to Bombay and stayed with us at least once a month. We too enjoyed his company and looked forward to them.
We had lots of guests, relatives visiting, staying with us-our house was open to all and itwas taken for granted that anyone coming to Bombay was staying with us. And this was in addition to the extra member who was already part of our family- Meera, Vidya, Ameet who came for their college education, Sumati kaki for her medical treatment. We were equally close to the other aunts and uncles and cousins (from daddys side, I had none) and fortunately, they were as comfortable with me and close to me, if not more, as daddy often says! And you two were not affected one bit. You took it in your stride and adjusted; I know it wasnt easy!
All this was possible because of the Great Help I had in Govinda. Without him all this would have been difficult. I remember one of Bana mama's friend who had accompanied him commented-
"Your house is like a well run factory, both of you are not present but everybody is looked after and everything works like clockwork! " I was very proud and attributed it to my remote-controlling prowess and ofcourse Govinda.
I always believed in Systems and Processes and kept individual intervention to the minimum-whether it was the right approach where family was concerned I do not know, sometimes I have self-doubts. I think you became too independent; when I see other children dependent on their parents for so many things, I feel a little 'J'. But the feeling is dispelled soon as I realise that it is the parents' duty to look after the child's interest and not their own. What kind of upbringing would it be if the child remained emotionally dependent?
At other times I see children/grandchildren living with parents and a pang of envy passes thru the mind- but again I shake it away quickly- its much better to see our children more successful, and surpassing us in every sphere; for that is the ultimate achievement and joy for a parent!
At this stage in life, you really feel the need for friends. At least I do - Ive always been a
"people-person"! Wondering what that means? Well, I just coined the word- what I mean is, Im happiest when among people- I have other interests-I read, cook,sew,embroider,listen to music, watch some TV- but these bring a feeling of lonliness, I guess I hate being with myself or I get bored with myself.
So I love people, people whom i can relate with!
And my other love is being amidst nature- the hills, rivers, mountains,oceans, jungles et al. And of course seeing new places-this in some ways fulfils an intellectual void- u read and hear about so many places- but the real thing is being there first hand!
Dandeli did both!
When you were young (and so were we), we depended on the AI passes. Hence we had to take our vacations during the exam time (off season) when there were less hassles for getting seats.
So most of the times you both stayed behind, but we had no choice. I always feared what would happen if the flight went wrong and both of us went up in smoke or something! That fear led me to make you both independent in everything, your studies, looking after yourselves, etc.
That had its own spin-off!
Of course we had some good holidays together- I remember Matheran, Mahableshwar, Panchgini, Bangkok and the numerous trips to chiplun and songaon!
You may also remember the drives we took in Bana mama's ambassador- 8-10 of us in the car driving to Goa, Kolhapur, Belgaum. His was the only car in the family and he and mami were most happy to be with us! Those days he was a regular visitor to Bombay and stayed with us at least once a month. We too enjoyed his company and looked forward to them.
We had lots of guests, relatives visiting, staying with us-our house was open to all and itwas taken for granted that anyone coming to Bombay was staying with us. And this was in addition to the extra member who was already part of our family- Meera, Vidya, Ameet who came for their college education, Sumati kaki for her medical treatment. We were equally close to the other aunts and uncles and cousins (from daddys side, I had none) and fortunately, they were as comfortable with me and close to me, if not more, as daddy often says! And you two were not affected one bit. You took it in your stride and adjusted; I know it wasnt easy!
All this was possible because of the Great Help I had in Govinda. Without him all this would have been difficult. I remember one of Bana mama's friend who had accompanied him commented-
"Your house is like a well run factory, both of you are not present but everybody is looked after and everything works like clockwork! " I was very proud and attributed it to my remote-controlling prowess and ofcourse Govinda.
I always believed in Systems and Processes and kept individual intervention to the minimum-whether it was the right approach where family was concerned I do not know, sometimes I have self-doubts. I think you became too independent; when I see other children dependent on their parents for so many things, I feel a little 'J'. But the feeling is dispelled soon as I realise that it is the parents' duty to look after the child's interest and not their own. What kind of upbringing would it be if the child remained emotionally dependent?
At other times I see children/grandchildren living with parents and a pang of envy passes thru the mind- but again I shake it away quickly- its much better to see our children more successful, and surpassing us in every sphere; for that is the ultimate achievement and joy for a parent!
# posted by rdbelite @ 3:04 AM 
