Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Death Does its Part
Met Sunil-dad's friend, yesterday. He lost his wife of cancer at age 42! She fought a brave & ferocious battle, but lost after 21 months, leaving behind a son, 12 -13 yrs old. He told us how life has changed forever and how father and son are finding togetherness and forging a new bond!
It seems, when everything is 'normal', life just moves on- with its ups and downs no doubt; but the applecart trudges along and the days, months and years pass by-- sometimes bringing happiness & joy; sometimes wheeling dangerously from side to side-but still managing to hold on to the road!
Then comes a jolt from the blue and life has changed forever! For those who are left behind.
Maybe thats the reason God has given us two parents - so he doesnt feel so guilty when he takes one away!
Today is the 10th of Dec. The calendar which Reema made so lovingly for me (to remind me of all the B'days) now also reminds me that this was the day when she left us, in 1998 I think. It is also Ritwicks B'day.
The day is etched in memory. Reema & Roshan had moved to Ravis place for a few days as she was taking radiation at Nnavati hospital, which was near by. Roshan went to Ahmedabad the previous day (on work) and he had given Ritwick some cash to treat his friends on his Bday .
Reema had had a recurrence of the disease & the prognosis was bad. But she was a fighter and we all did our best to keep her spirits thru the entire struggle. But the doctor had misjudged & the diagnosis was late in coming. I could never bring myself to talk to the doctor again. I gave her a piece of my mind to let her know that she had erred inspite of Reema having gone to her well in time! We attributed it to the Hand of God-in the end!
It was about noon & Pooja phoned us to say that Reema s condition had deteriorated. We all rushed to Nanavati where Pooja & Daddy brought her. I was with her thruout the evening. There was lots she wanted to talk, but I didnt let her, I wanted her to preserve her strength-not knowing it was going to be her last day! I still regret it sometimes!
Rupa, Rucha & Rashmi & spouses also came. Her BP was falling & vision was failing-she probably knew-she called the girls & asked for forgiveness for the spats they had had. Six o clock she was taken to the ICU & 8 o'clock the end came.
Roshan arrived an hour or so later & first time I saw him shed tears. My family has never been complete since!
I can still hear Reema say to me-'Why did this have to happen to me? Why did He do this to me? What can I say to my parents, who have already lost one child?" I would say- 'Don't even try to find answers. There are some questions for which He does not want to share the answers.'
I would then pray to HIm to take away one year each from all eleven of us and give it to her. Akash would then reach his teens and be able to take care of himself. But in this 'Kaliyug' no such miracles!
Reema was a lively personality-she was always game for the outdoors! I hd only to say-How about goint to Nala sopara for the week end- and she would take it from there. She had given up her job & would make all the arrangements- phone everybody, fix the time, the logistics.
We had some of the most memorable family get togethers there- Barbecue evenings where 25 chickens were consumed in 2 hours; Broon breakfasts when 50 eggs went down with 50 broons; a basket full of Tadgolas for an afternoon snack! Can't forget the Raindance on the terrace when we were lucky to catch the first showers in the dark with no power and just danced the night away with the 2-in-1 player! Add to this the number of Newyear eves (the children were all "kids" then and happy to be a part of the family.)
I think the investment in NS has served its purpose!
Reema was also the prime organiser of our 25th anniversary party. They had just moved into Sandhya. She said it was a lucky house and she hoped her children would fare as well as mine in that house. Little did w e know what was in store for her there!
But in the 33 years that she was given, she lived a full life. She enjoyed herself, rode the 2 wheeler, even learnt to drive the fiat that they bought from us in her last years.
December seems to be the month for Bye-byes! Papa left us on 8th while Amma passed away on 20th. They were all brave people!
Papa was very clear what he wanted, once the doctors told him that treatment would be of no help, he resigned to fate. But never lost his sense of humour thru all the pain, his wisecracks and puns kept coming - exactly 6 months as the doctors had said.
Again we were lucky to reach chiplun in the evening & he breathed his last at about 8 pm. Again mami & I were at his bedside. Daddy & Nandu had gone to get the ambulance to move him to the hospital! He didnt want to go and he saw to it that he didnt.
Amma contracted a very rare lung infection that again was not diaagnosed properly. The poor lady suffered for 6 months from one hospital to another, but never once asked what the problem was. She just did as she was told, like a child. Can you imagine, she even swallowed raw eggs without batting an eyelid because doctor told her to have a protein rich diet! One who never ate onions or garlic!
I would never have believed it had I not seen it with mine own eyes-her condition was serious but she pulled on! We realised why only later- Rakesh was coming during the Christmas hols! She knew it and he arrived on 27th. We took him to see her on 28th morning, in the evening she let go!
Her 6 month illness taught us a lot! All 12 of us shared the load, took leave in turns to be in the hospital. Because we were so many of us, we didnt feel the pressure. Even the stay at the hospital was spent in good cheer, eating batata wadas and chais in the canteen! Of course we didnt know she would not come out of the illness.
I relised then the importance of "Family". Esp. when we saw some of the other relatives waiting all alone for a loved one to get well or an old parent who was just not able to let go!
Death of ones parents is something every child has to go thru! For days I could see amma's face (as she looked at Rakesh) there was a mixture of happiness & sorrow! I can feel it even today!
It seems, when everything is 'normal', life just moves on- with its ups and downs no doubt; but the applecart trudges along and the days, months and years pass by-- sometimes bringing happiness & joy; sometimes wheeling dangerously from side to side-but still managing to hold on to the road!
Then comes a jolt from the blue and life has changed forever! For those who are left behind.
Maybe thats the reason God has given us two parents - so he doesnt feel so guilty when he takes one away!
Today is the 10th of Dec. The calendar which Reema made so lovingly for me (to remind me of all the B'days) now also reminds me that this was the day when she left us, in 1998 I think. It is also Ritwicks B'day.
The day is etched in memory. Reema & Roshan had moved to Ravis place for a few days as she was taking radiation at Nnavati hospital, which was near by. Roshan went to Ahmedabad the previous day (on work) and he had given Ritwick some cash to treat his friends on his Bday .
Reema had had a recurrence of the disease & the prognosis was bad. But she was a fighter and we all did our best to keep her spirits thru the entire struggle. But the doctor had misjudged & the diagnosis was late in coming. I could never bring myself to talk to the doctor again. I gave her a piece of my mind to let her know that she had erred inspite of Reema having gone to her well in time! We attributed it to the Hand of God-in the end!
It was about noon & Pooja phoned us to say that Reema s condition had deteriorated. We all rushed to Nanavati where Pooja & Daddy brought her. I was with her thruout the evening. There was lots she wanted to talk, but I didnt let her, I wanted her to preserve her strength-not knowing it was going to be her last day! I still regret it sometimes!
Rupa, Rucha & Rashmi & spouses also came. Her BP was falling & vision was failing-she probably knew-she called the girls & asked for forgiveness for the spats they had had. Six o clock she was taken to the ICU & 8 o'clock the end came.
Roshan arrived an hour or so later & first time I saw him shed tears. My family has never been complete since!
I can still hear Reema say to me-'Why did this have to happen to me? Why did He do this to me? What can I say to my parents, who have already lost one child?" I would say- 'Don't even try to find answers. There are some questions for which He does not want to share the answers.'
I would then pray to HIm to take away one year each from all eleven of us and give it to her. Akash would then reach his teens and be able to take care of himself. But in this 'Kaliyug' no such miracles!
Reema was a lively personality-she was always game for the outdoors! I hd only to say-How about goint to Nala sopara for the week end- and she would take it from there. She had given up her job & would make all the arrangements- phone everybody, fix the time, the logistics.
We had some of the most memorable family get togethers there- Barbecue evenings where 25 chickens were consumed in 2 hours; Broon breakfasts when 50 eggs went down with 50 broons; a basket full of Tadgolas for an afternoon snack! Can't forget the Raindance on the terrace when we were lucky to catch the first showers in the dark with no power and just danced the night away with the 2-in-1 player! Add to this the number of Newyear eves (the children were all "kids" then and happy to be a part of the family.)
I think the investment in NS has served its purpose!
Reema was also the prime organiser of our 25th anniversary party. They had just moved into Sandhya. She said it was a lucky house and she hoped her children would fare as well as mine in that house. Little did w e know what was in store for her there!
But in the 33 years that she was given, she lived a full life. She enjoyed herself, rode the 2 wheeler, even learnt to drive the fiat that they bought from us in her last years.
December seems to be the month for Bye-byes! Papa left us on 8th while Amma passed away on 20th. They were all brave people!
Papa was very clear what he wanted, once the doctors told him that treatment would be of no help, he resigned to fate. But never lost his sense of humour thru all the pain, his wisecracks and puns kept coming - exactly 6 months as the doctors had said.
Again we were lucky to reach chiplun in the evening & he breathed his last at about 8 pm. Again mami & I were at his bedside. Daddy & Nandu had gone to get the ambulance to move him to the hospital! He didnt want to go and he saw to it that he didnt.
Amma contracted a very rare lung infection that again was not diaagnosed properly. The poor lady suffered for 6 months from one hospital to another, but never once asked what the problem was. She just did as she was told, like a child. Can you imagine, she even swallowed raw eggs without batting an eyelid because doctor told her to have a protein rich diet! One who never ate onions or garlic!
I would never have believed it had I not seen it with mine own eyes-her condition was serious but she pulled on! We realised why only later- Rakesh was coming during the Christmas hols! She knew it and he arrived on 27th. We took him to see her on 28th morning, in the evening she let go!
Her 6 month illness taught us a lot! All 12 of us shared the load, took leave in turns to be in the hospital. Because we were so many of us, we didnt feel the pressure. Even the stay at the hospital was spent in good cheer, eating batata wadas and chais in the canteen! Of course we didnt know she would not come out of the illness.
I relised then the importance of "Family". Esp. when we saw some of the other relatives waiting all alone for a loved one to get well or an old parent who was just not able to let go!
Death of ones parents is something every child has to go thru! For days I could see amma's face (as she looked at Rakesh) there was a mixture of happiness & sorrow! I can feel it even today!
# posted by rdbelite @ 2:34 AM 
