Rekha's Musings

We just returned from Songaon, Chiplun - with Guhagar thrown in! It always gives me a high! Don't know what it is- the temple, the small town/village ambience, meeting with the Barve clan- possibly the overall experience- is this what one refers to as One's Roots?

This got me thinking of my own roots; or rather lack of them! I now realise how very unfortunate we are, but that is fate! Both my parents belonged to small fmilies & both lost their parents early in life. When this happens there is nothing to take you back home! Their house in Tirupati survived a few years and then was sold off by the care takers. Dad in fact was brought up by his uncle, Raja mama and he was my connect with my dad's folks until he passed away last year. Dad had only one sister who got married and settled down in a remote part of Chennai-Ranipet. We hardly know our cousins from that side. Only recently have i established contact with one of them, Premi.
My mother's family met a similar fate. After her father's death, she was left with one step brother who was a very loving gentleman, I remember him vividly, but he too died young of TB. Mummy was a very independent young woman, who was Convent educated and dreamed of going to College. But with only a brother a few years older, heading the family; he could not muster the courage to send her to a co-ed institute - he ws more concerned for her marriage!
I remember the house in Madurai, where my mother was brought up! It was one of many two-storey row houses perched high up - a number of stone steps led to the main entrance-a sort of rectangular verandah.
But the most exciting part of the house was a square right in the middle, which was open to sky! Can u imagine what happened when it rained? It was so beautiful, the raindrops sprayed all over the house! That house too had no takers after mum's brother!
So although I proudly stated that my parents belonged to two temple cities, both proved too shortlived to leave any impact on our lives.
We were born & bred in the suburbs of Bombay and saw no life other than that! Me being the eldest, carry a few memories of the few visits made during childhood-nothing more.
Daughter of a majistrate in the British govt. mom was brought up in a fairly affluent family while dad's father was a Poojari in the Balaji temple. He too had enough resources but is said to have lost it all to the "prohibition" era.
Mom was a born non-conformist; years ahead of her time in her thinking she had anyway broken away from her past which she considered stifling.Dad still loved the old ladies/aunts amongst whom he was brought up- raja mama housed a number of widowed women who came back to well to-do and well-hearted relatives after being widowed. I remember them in their maroon saris, which also covered their tonsured heads and upper half, as they wore no blouses.
Ours however was a nuclear family- if u could call a family of eight nuclear!
We were very lucky to have such ....... parents! Cant find one word that does justice to them! Firstly, they were Made for each other! She shunned orthodoxy, traditions and wanted nothing to do with them. He was magnanimous to all, his heart was so large he could accomodate all- Love for the old widows (who had to fetch their own water & cook their own food as prescribed by some religious beliefs) and understanding of the young engineers who looked upto him for help in the Great growing corporate that was Air India!
Even today I hear stories of both mum and dad from people who have been helped and loved by them. People who were not connected, neither family nor friends! I can only feel proud! Unfortunately, none of us siblings have taken from our parents even a fraction of what they had to offer!

Sounds cliched, I'll give some examples that have stuck in mind.
When most moms nagged their daughters to get inducted into skills like cooking and house keeping, my mom would suggest that there was plenty of time for that after marriage! Why do u want to wear a sari now, she would chide me. She was the one who suggested that I make myself a mini skirt, which had just come into vogue when I was in college! I wasnt the brave, experimenting type then and made one after a lot of persuation.
She always wnted me to be independent and work for atleast one year before I got married.
As for dad, he had this tremendous faith in us- if I told him I hadnt fared well in a paper, he would say- "Forget about it, Im sure u couldnt have fared all that badly!"

Sometimes I wonder, no Im quite sure I do not have the largesse to respond to my children like they did! They were ONE OF A KIND!