Saturday, July 25, 2015
OUR TEEN DEVIYAN
OUR TEEN
DEVIYAN
We referred to them as our Teen
Deviyan – Tai, Mavshi and Mami. They were the “elders” of the family. No
function, no occasion was complete without them. Their presence was assumed and
mandatory! If any one of them couldn’t make it, her absence was felt all round.
They themselves were happy in
each other’s company. And were always finding excuses to get together. “Let’s
celebrate Diwali in Chiplun this year” (Tai) or “No, it’s been long since you
came to Kolhapur, so Kolhapur it is” (Mami).
“When are you going to come and spend time with us in Guhagar?”
(Mavshi). This dialogue went on until an agreement was reached. Shows how eager
they were to get together.
Along with the women, the men too
shared a special rapport. It is easy for the men to bond – all three; papa,
appa and mama were easy going and a peg or two in the evenings always did the
trick!
For the women it calls for more effort.
But these three women had a lot in common. They came from similar backgrounds
(tai and mavshi ofcourse, being sisters, but even mami belonged to the same
region (a village close to Guhagar) so there was familiarity and an easy
comraderie!
They did not sit down with glasses
in the evenings; but they were happy showing off their culinary skills to each
other and the family! All three were very good cooks and prided themselves on
it! Tai and mavshi were the artisans; their modaks, dalimbyachi usal, puran
polis, in fact all delicacies of the konkan came alive in their kitchen! Mami
was an expert too - her Kolhapuri
pandhra rassa and tambda rassa along with her bhakris were out of this world!
Theirs was a different time and a
different place! Born in the 1930s and 40s,
an era when girls were trained for domesticity, they were gifted home-makers.
The kitchen was the epicenter of their kingdom! Feeding the family and of
course the guests was the essence of their existence!! And these three women
exulted in it!
But tai and mavshi were made of a
special breed – oozing confidence and awareness, they could take on any woman
of today! Efficient, talented,
strong-willed, and gifted with good looks – a heady combination!
Firebrands in their youth, they
mellowed down with age. Always in-control of their domain, their management
techniques would have put many an MBA to shame! Today, they would be CEO
material, no less! Not surprising, the men were happy to offload their
responsibilities (at least partly) onto their wives’ capable shoulders!
Mavshi especially was super
talented. Guhagar was her territory and her PR was superb. Sitting at home, she
could get anything done with the help of one phone call! Be it getting your
broken down car repaired or organising chicken biryani for her nephews who
often drove there with friends to enjoy the seaside home. I have first hand
experience.
And mavshi’s home was always open
to everyone! Everybody who was anybody in the family, even friends of family,
and friends of friends went there to enjoy her hospitality and the beautiful
house and private beach! Of late of course, the splendors of Guhagar have been
discovered by many and tourists flock there in large numbers!
Mami on the other hand, shy and
timid; bahu of the family, accepting the authority of her sisters-in-law. In
fact, at heart she always remained a ‘village girl’ although she led a very
active life in the city of Kolhapur. As an office bearer of the Karvir Bhagini
Mandal she took part in the various activities of the club. Playing badminton,
rummy and other such sports, kept her busy while mama spent a lot of time in
Pune for work.
Both Dilip and I were very close
to all of them and were always happy when they came over; especially for
festivals, poojas, etc. Along with tai and papa, we insisted that mavshi and
mami too came along with appa and mama. Their advice, knowledge and help was always
welcome on such occasions. For me and my
siblings they were the parents whom we had lost very early in life.
Those days, mama was the only one
who had a car; his white Ambassador has taken us on many a drive! I remember
Panchgani, Mahableshwar, Goa, Belgaum! We never dared count how many of us we
managed to pack in that car! To mama’s credit, he was always game!
Gradually one by one they left
us. Mama was the first to go (a failed valve replacement surgery); followed by
appa (cancer) and then papa (from hepatitis C which he contracted from a blood
transfusion 15 years ago.)
Strangely the men went first and
the women found solace in each other’s company. Mami was tied to Kolhapur taking care of her
grand daughter and later great grand daughter. But tai and mavshi, both living
alone often shared time with each other
between Guhagar and Chiplun.
Last month tai left us after a
brief illness. It was a very peaceful end and came quickly. But the last six
months she spent with us were traumatic for her as well as for us. Having
always lived independently she was now helpless and dependent on others for the
first time in her life of 87 years. And we could see she was hating it. It was
difficult for us too to see her health deteriorating day by day. The miraculous
part was that she did not suffer any pain or any other complications, about which
the doctors had fore-warned us.
It was also our good fortune to
have found a very good nurse. She looked after tai very well and tai liked her
too. That made life easier. We were rest assured that tai was being taken care
of well. Tai was always very particular about hygiene. I used to joke that she
needed a kilo of talcum powder every month. Even in her last days the nurse was
instructed : Wash my clothes with dettol, Add eau de cologne to my bath water,
Dust with dermicool powder, Comb my hair, Change clothes twice a day, etc etc.!
She had lived life on her terms
and had her family around her in her last days. In fact during the six months
the entire family as well as friends visited her and that kept her in good
cheer and us as well.
I must mention mavshi’s total
cooperation and help as and when we needed her; she came and stayed with us and
made life more bearable. She will miss her elder sister the most as they had come
to rely on each other a lot in recent times.
Of course Dilip has assured her
that she is now the “elder” and we will be calling on her. So also we are
always there for her and mami and the feelings are mutual!
That marks the end of an era for
us!
# posted by rdbelite @ 12:12 AM 
